Postponed date..

Today, as it is Monday, first planning is to settle my Passport. If not, scared not able to get it before my trip to Singapore this coming Christmas! So, get a leave from boss for few hours to get it done. Anyhow, surprise surprise my luck still haven't come.. thought it was just an ordinary traffic jam around Simpang 3 roundabout as it was around 9am. So just be patient lo, but later who knows when reach the junction, saw every cars going to the same way.. Reach the gate, saw the BIG banner " seminar bla bla bla on 7 to 8 dec 09.." ok., guess won't so much ppl cum for such boring seminar..turn in the parking lots,,omg..full house so better turn out..give up so need to cum back for the next next day..huh..

Lalala...

This plump plump hand with shadow belongs to Joa..:-p..



Look who's on old tv? Hey Joa, u haven't find a name for me..

Loves pastel,,however didn't manage to learn more on this..One day,,when I retired.:D

Is it yes or no?

Sometime I feel like trying to say something but in the end don't even know what actually I want to say, but just the voice in heart keep asking me to say. What is that something, the mind or the heart that making the judgement? Why do I keep pondering on this question since I'm not going to say it out, possibility that saying it out is nearly zero? Or even myself still not yet able to face this question and do not have the answer yet? Say or not to say seems not the main problem already since the consequences is just between yes and no. Maybe just forget about it and ok, just let it be.. Bit frust sometime in making decision to say or not, worry of that two results, yes n b prepare for the worse situation to face or no and one day will regret. This stress can't b calculated and no way for tabulating a profit and loss chart. Too dangerous but aren't that what I'm seeking for?

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Blackie drinking her fav miruku.:D

So cute, spill the milk all over the face..:p, need newspaper as lapik..

I can't let go

Everytime someone questioned me or says something related to my boss, I just don't know why I just couldn't face it with a positive attitude, happily saying that "I'm so proud to be a daughter that he can proud of".

I just couldn't let it down, everytime persuading myself with two motives I'm here in this world, one is to be a daughter that should be able to exist as a capable child of him, secondly is to protect the family (my mom especially) that no son is nothing!

When always tried to be as "capable" as I can, the feeling of trying very hard to get out of this box is attacking my soul. Even the tears might start coming from the heart inside but could never get out as I know I need to pretend not to care about this feeling, just let it be.. Should one day I leave the world before him, I will never say this to him. This world seems to be of nothing more to me if the feeling can't be grounded or one day he stop asking me to do anything, not because he is leaving the world. I still love him so much that I don't want him to know that I'm not very happy to be the "capable" assistant/secretary/clerk/daughter/any post whichever related.

Normal life, just maybe be a gardener that lives in countryside, staying in forest green world with simple 3 meals per day- nothing need to worry- maybe that's the heaven. Trying hard to hypnotise myself to make me feel better..